


Being Us Ain't Good For Us (But Being Us Feels Good To Us)

by xxPrettyLittleTimeBombxx



Series: Jukebox Singles [2]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: (but Luke doesn't know that yet), 1x07 alternate take, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Mutual Pining, Pining, but only slightly so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:46:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29072004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxPrettyLittleTimeBombxx/pseuds/xxPrettyLittleTimeBombxx
Summary: “Luke knows he can’t offer her much. That he can’t offer Julie anything more than an endless supply of silly love songs, and a future full of promises he’s not even sure he can keep. A future that’s not guaranteed. A future that, more likely than not, will end in heartache when whatever it is that’s keeping him here on earth and by her side decides that the time has come to rip him and Julie apart.”- OR -What if Luke had decided to stay and watch Nick and Julie dance together in 1x07
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters, Julie Molina & Nick, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Series: Jukebox Singles [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2132940
Comments: 36
Kudos: 210





	Being Us Ain't Good For Us (But Being Us Feels Good To Us)

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I know a bunch of you are waiting on me to update other things, but when Jenni and I get an idea in our heads, we just can't help ourselves so please enjoy this little collab!
> 
> Her artwork's at the end and it's worth it to read this accompanying one-shot in which Luke is in his FEELINGS if only for that! 
> 
> Title is a line borrowed from All Time Low's "Glitter & Crimson"

There’s a strange thing that happens whenever Julie’s around. A feeling that courses through Luke’s veins that’s ten times more addicting than the roaring of a crowd going crazy over the songs he writes. 

It’s a feeling that fuels him, that propels him forward, that keeps him on his toes— for better or for worse— when it comes to the pint-sized powerhouse vocalist who, in a matter of a few short weeks, has become one of the most important people in his life.

Luke’s always been a little bit reckless. Ten times more likely than Alex or Reggie to dive in head first and suffer the consequences later. So Luke doesn’t hesitate when Reggie poofs into the studio and tells him and Alex that Julie’s dad is arranging a performance for the band.

“Gotta talk to Julie— we gotta figure out what song we’re playing tonight— time’s a-ticking, boys!” the words come out of his mouth in an excited rush as he hops up from the couch.

He’s poofing into the halls of Los Feliz High without a second thought, and as he makes his way toward Julie’s locker, Luke tells himself that he’s gone to her school on official band business that just can’t wait.

It’s a lie and he knows it— a small one— but still a lie. 

He’d been thinking about her before Reggie had even popped back into the studio to tell them about the gig. Thinking about the night before at Eats & Beats. About how he could have sworn he’d felt his heart split in two at the sight of Julie getting swept up in the music they’d written together. Wondering if Julie could tell that when he’d sung the words “you’re a part of me” back to her, her face so close he could have counted every single one of the eyelashes that adorn her warm brown eyes, that he’d meant it with his whole chest. Thinking about how he had been wishing she was home so he could tell her that it’s not just music that makes him feel alive again— it’s  _ her _ . It’s  _ Julie _ who makes him feel more alive than he’s  _ ever _ felt.

He wants to tell her everything, but once he’s right in front of her and she’s smiling up at him, Luke’s mind goes blank, brain short-circuiting as he runs a hand nervously through his hair.

_ “I think you make me a better writer.” _

It’s not what he’d wanted to say, and internally, Luke’s kicking himself for it. But much like she does with everything, Julie soothes the burn of failure that’s already begun to settle in the pit of his stomach. The twisting in his gut stops, morphs and shifts instead into a flurry of butterflies that flutter away in his belly when she finally replies.

_ “I think we make each other better.” _

There’s a new feeling that works its way through his body when they’re interrupted by Nick. A boy whose name he’s heard in passing-- usually accompanied by a knowing, salacious look from Flynn. But Julie’s always feigned interest, and so Luke had never thought much of it.

It’s different now though, when the boy in question is standing in front of Julie—  _ his  _ Julie. And it makes something inside Luke snap. 

He’s laying it on thick, teasing her right in the middle of the hallway before he can think better of it, fueled by the green eyed monster of jealousy that’s roaring in his chest. The jealousy curls around that electric feel he’s come to associate with Julie’s presence, and it carries him— right up through the moment when he shouts at Juile’s retreating figure.

_ “I know you’re smiling! Kill it on the dance floor!” _

And then the feeling’s just…gone. Snuffed out the same way one might blow out a candle. It leaves him feeling cold, and empty, and wanting as though Julie’s taken all of the light and the sunshine with her. The impish grin he’d been wearing over the course of their whole interaction disappears, traded instead for an involuntarily frown. For some reason, there’s one thing he’d said to her earlier when he’d been teasing that he just can’t seem to shake now that Julie’s not around to distract him with her presence.

_ “Uh oh! I think somebody has a crush on Julie!”  _

Luke had said it in the heat of the moment in an effort to wind her up. He hadn’t ever thought he’d be harping on it later. But he is now as he slumps against Julie’s locker, brows furrowing as a small voice in his head grows louder, vocalizing a thought that hadn’t occurred to him before.

_ Maybe she likes him too— maybe Juile likes Nick— maybe you should step aside and let her instead of holding her back. _

He’d meant it as a joke when he’d said it, although Luke wouldn’t blame Nick for crushing on someone as wonderful as Julie. But his arrogance hadn’t allowed him to consider that perhaps, the feeling wasn’t just a one-way street. Because Luke can’t imagine Julie being with someone so ordinary when she deserved to be with someone as extraordinary as she is. When Julie deserves to be with somebody who will cherish her, and appreciate her, and adore every single part of her in the way that every part of her  _ should  _ be adored.

Most of all, Luke fiercely believes that Julie deserves to be with somebody who can give her the world. Somebody who can give her everything she wants out of life and more.

_ “She deserves to be with someone who’s better than you,”  _ says a firm voice in his head. 

And Luke feels himself deflate when he realizes there’s no way he can come up with an adequate rebuttal to that. Because for as much as he appreciates Julie, with her immeasurable talent, and her kind heart, and her effortless beauty— for as much as he knows they both dance around the idea of what they mean to each other— for as much as he slips in hints and clues about his  _ own _ feelings into the songs they write, Luke knows deep down that he’s not good enough for her.

He finds himself wondering suddenly if Julie would pick him. If she’d choose him over Nick if it came down to it. The worst part about contemplating the hypothetical scenario is not imagining a universe in which Julie picks Nick instead, but imagining one where she picks  _ him _ . Because what could he ever give her anyway even if she  _ did _ choose him?

Luke’s racing thoughts are quick to supply him with the ugly truth to the question he asks himself. He knows he can’t offer her much. That he can’t offer Julie anything more than an endless supply of silly love songs, and a future full of promises he’s not even sure he can keep. A future that’s not guaranteed. A future that, more likely than not, will end in heartache when whatever it is that’s keeping him here on earth and by her side decides that the time has come to rip him and Julie apart.

So maybe he should just let Nick have her. Maybe, Luke thinks, he should just step aside and let whatever might be brewing between Nick and Julie happen. Because it’s for the best. Because Nick is  _ human _ . Because Nick is real in a way that he can’t ever be no matter how much he wishes things were different. 

His feet are leading him toward the gym as if of their own accord, tracing the invisible footprints Julie had left in her wake just moments before. Luke hesitates as he reaches the gym doors, torn between going inside and poofing back to the studio. A voice in the back of his head that sounds an awful lot like Alex is screaming at him to walk away and leave before he does something stupid. He knows Julie will probably accuse him of spying or disrespecting her boundaries if she catches sight of him, but he can’t help it. He needs to see what they look like together when he’s not there egging her on. 

And Luke knows it’ll hurt to see Julie and Nick dance together. That it’ll likely shatter his heart to see the way Julie acts around the other boy when she thinks Luke isn’t around. But all of a sudden, watching Julie and Nick dance together seems like something that he _ needs  _ to do for her benefit as well as his own. Because maybe it’ll help him. Maybe it’ll be enough to stop him from being so selfish in his desires to hold on to her. Maybe all he needs to do to let go of the fantasy of what the two of them  _ could _ be together, is to see Julie happy in the arms of somebody else.

Luke doesn’t dare go into the gym, but he’s careful to keep the heavy door from shutting behind the last group of students who trickle in just before the bell rings. He counts his lucky stars that Julie and Nick are positioned near the door— and that he’s got a decent view of the two of them from where he’s hidden by the entrance. If he cranes his neck ever so slightly, he can see Julie in the pretty black dress she’s changed into just for the day’s performance. It swishes as she sifts from one foot to the other while reassuring Nick that they’re going to do great.

And then, he hears Julie say his name, and for a minute Luke thinks he’s been caught red-handed— that is, until he hears Nick’s reply.

“It’s…it’s Nick, actually.” he says, face screwing up in confusion.

“Right! Nick! Sorry!” Julie exclaims in a voice that’s a bit louder than a conversation between two people would merit.

It’s not until Luke catches sight of the curve of her cheek, flushes in embarrassment that he’s able to connect the dots. That Luke realizes that Julie hadn’t spoken his name because she’d caught sight of him by the door, but that she’d spoken his name because she’d mistaken Nick for him— because she’d been  _ thinking of him _ . 

All of a sudden, it feels as though his heart is mere moments away from soaring right out of his chest. It’s the implication of Julie’s words that does it. The implication that her thoughts had, as she herself had put it, “wandered away”--  _ because she’d been thinking of him _ .

And maybe Luke’s still unsure. Not about what he feels for Julie, but about whether or not he’s good for her. But the fact that Julie allows him to occupy her thoughts— to take up precious real estate in her beautiful mind— is more than enough to eclipse the fear that comes along with knowing that they might have to say goodbye one day. He feels a warmth spread over his entire being, starting from the center of his chest and working its way down to his fingers and his toes. A warmth that tugs his lips into an involuntary smile he can’t wipe off of his face. A smile that he knows is one hundred percent Julie Molina induced.

He doesn’t need to stay and watch Julie dance with Nick— Luke’s seen enough. Instead, he lets that warm and fuzzy feeling carry him home as he poofs back into the studio. And Luke must still be smiling like a fool, because it doesn’t take long for Alex to notice and question him through calcuative eyes that sweep over his face.

“What’s got you grinning over there like an idiot?” The drummer asks.

“ _ Who _ do you think?” quips Reggie through a chuckle from where he’s tuning his bass.

“Nobody-- Nothing,” Luke lies. “I’m just excited for the gig tonight— c’mon boys! We’ve still got a lot to run through before Julie gets home.”

Luke doesn’t give his best friends the satisfaction of acknowledging the knowing smirks they trade with each other while he slings his electric guitar over his front. And if there just so happens to be a bit more bounce in his step as they take “Edge of Great” from the top, Alex and Reggie do him the courtesy of pretending like they don’t notice.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed a little Luke introspection! The idea for this started as a throw away comment where I mentioned that in my head, I often imagine Luke staying to watch Julie "kill it on the dance floor" and well, you know, Jenni is a good friend and the best kind of enabler and so now y'all get this fic plus some brilliant illustrations!
> 
> YES. **_Illustrations_** \-- plural!-- she actually made a full on animatic to go with this, which you should be able to see over on Twitter by clicking on the image of Luke above (if I did the coding right!😅). I'll also link it **[RIGHT HERE](https://twitter.com/lovelyrugbeeART/status/1355292305255632896?s=20)** for easy access!
> 
> We had so much fun with this little project so I hope you all enjoyed it! And thank you in advance if any of you are kind enough to leave comments and/or kudos-- your support and encouragement, as always, means so much!
> 
> In between updates you can find me over on [Tumblr](https://xxprettylittletimebombxx.tumblr.com/) and/or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ElaWithAnE)!
> 
> If you want to check out more of Jenni's brilliant art, you can find her on [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lovelyrugbee_art/)! She also writes fics, which you can find [right here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamiRugbee) on AO3!
> 
> See y'all when I see you for the next one!


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